Homosexuality wrong

This discussion on whether homosexuality is wrong or not raises some interesting viewpoints; it's a particularly difficult subject for the Christian.

And should heterosexuals be pronouncing on the subject in any case given the disastrous state of marriage in today's world, even within the church.

“Good and evil both increase at compound interest.
That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance.”  

- C. S. Lewis

This page was last updated by Bernard Preston on 4th September, 2021.

Biblical perspectives

Homosexuality wrong is a strong emotive phrase. Not many people are neutral on the subject, especially those looking at it from biblical perspectives.

Sexuality is of course core in life. Without it species would simply die out. Many creatures are in fact hermaphrodite, carrying both in one animal. For example, when snails copulate, each fertilizes the eggs of the other.

On the other hand, all mammals are either male or female, though it is not uncommon to see same-sex creatures like cows and dogs rutting with each other. With animals (other than humans) there can be no homosexuality is a sin. Only we recognise the wrongness of things.

Without a doubt, in the Christian world, virtually all Believers would say that God's first choice is a harmonious, faithful, heterosexual relationship. Such is the Christian's calling, but how many actually achieve it? Even in the church context it is doubtful that more than fifty percent of Believers realise such an ideal after conversion. It is simply is a very high calling that few of God's fallen creatures will ever reach.

Even more so, if we accept Jesus's word that simply looking at another person with lust in the heart is, spiritually speaking, just as wicked as adultery itself. Teaching his disciples candidly, and forcefully, he commanded them to "pluck out the eye;" obviously not literally, but we cannot avoid or dismiss the ernestness of His powerful words.

Beyond the Christian world, most would certainly agree to the harmonious and heterosexual connotations, but in a more honest moment, would acknowledge only lip-service to faithfulness. Sexual liaisons outside of marriage are for many the norm in today's society even within congregations. Stories abound of the priest and the organist; where there is smoke there are certainly fires burning.

"Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion."

- Romans 1:27.

There is little doubt what the apostle Paul would say in answer to the question, Is homosexuality Wrong?

If we were to list all sexual relationships, in no particular order, we might come up with the following:

  • Faithful and natural (where 'natural' = heterosexual) out of marriage ("common-law" marriages),
  • faithful and unnatural (where 'unnatural'= homosexual),
  • faithful and heterosexual in marriage,
  • faithful and homosexual in marriage (in a few societies)
  • unfaithful and heterosexual,
  • unfaithful and homosexual,
  • male prostitution,
  • female prostitution,
  • rape of a female,
  • rape of a male,
  • rape of a child.

One could add others no doubt.

The heterosexual, unfaithful marriage

I think this we would agree, is the kind of relationship the vast majority of people today adhere to. Whilst dreading that our partners might commit adultery, we indulge ourselves. The average Frenchman for example has 13 sexual partners in a lifetime, I believe. The rest of the world is probably not that different.

Within Christian marriage, even the clergy, the rate of divorce and adultery is rising. Most of these liasons are clandestine, and never reach the light of day, but increasingly even well known Christian ministers and writers are coming out into the open, telling their stories, the pain and sometimes the healing of the relationship.

Homosexuality wrong

Homosexuality wrong explores some Biblical perspectives on the subject. But there again, hetero relationships even amongst Christians are in such disarray, so who is going to cast the first stone?

"Words are things; and a small drop of ink

Falling like dew upon a thought, produces

That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think."

George Gordon, Lord Byron

Faithful and natural, outside of marriage.

It is widely acknowledged today that many young couples would no sooner marry before having explored their sexual relationship, than they would buy a new car without having test driven it. It does carry a certain logic. In many parts of Europe today, couples live together, often for years, perhaps only marrying when they decide to have children.

In a survey in the Netherlands, over 100 Catholic priests have openly acknowledged that they are in a sexual relationship with a woman. Forbidden by Rome to marry, they have made a different choice. Is the faithful Priest-and-his-woman relationship, outside of marriage, more or less wrong than a faithful homosexual relationship?

Can such a priest comment on the question, Is Homosexuality Wrong.

"I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the uncompromising, and kindness from the spiteful; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers."

- Kahlil Gibran

The point?

So, what am I driving at? What has all this to do with answering the question, Is homosexuality wrong? Is homosexuality a choice? What have Christians and homosexuality to do with each other?


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Many of those shouting the loudest in the anti homosexuality lobby, have in fact themselves indulged in extramarital affairs, or been tortured by thoughts of lust for another man's wife. Having themselves strayed from faithfulness in marriage, are they in any position to shout the odds at others who themselves are living in other-than-God's-best relationships? Jesus had far more stinging words for hypocrites than any others, yet always calling humanity to come on up to the higher place, made possible by living in fellowship with Him.

In our hierarchy of sexual relationships listed above, almost all will agree that the faithful, heterosexual relationship, within the bonds of marriage, is the safest, most ideal way, as declared in the Bible.

But which lies second on our list?

  • The unfaithful heterosexual relationship, or
  • the faithful homosexual liason?

Certainly, I would suggest, that no one who has been unfaithful to his/her partner, is qualified to make any pronouncements on whether homosexuality is wrong or not.

My candid opinion? Is homosexuality wrong? No, not wrong, but still second best.

"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God ..."

- Romans 3: 23

and again, the words of Jesus,

"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."

Can a woman rape a man?

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

Aristotle (384-322 BC)

Janet and Peter were both fairly tipsy by the time they got to the end of the dessert, holding hands across the table. Peter ordered coffee while Janet excused herself to go off to the loo. When she came back, she playfully dropped a packet of condoms onto the table. Peter looked down at them, and then slowly up at her. For long moments he looked deep into her eyes. Finally he said: ‘I want much more, Jane. Much more. I want you, not just a summer holiday romance, soon forgotten.’

He shook his head, slowly at first, and then quite definitely. He picked up the condoms, and carefully dropped them into her bag, never taking his eyes from hers. Gently he kissed her. Scraping back his chair, Peter suddenly made to stand up, staggering once or twice and made his own way off to the loo. Two beers and more than half a bottle of wine was having its effect on him too. Nobody saw Janet drop three sleeping tablets into his coffee and give it a quick stir.

Excerpt from Book 2, A FAMILY AFFAIR

Is heterosexual rape more right than homosexuality wrong?

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