Helen's 15 euro salad is the effective cure for constipation; that's the cause of diverticulosis, bowel tumours and a lot of misery, all fixed in a flash.
Grandma's medicine, stewed prunes, of course, remains ever effective, and scientifically proven.
The happy tum is a complex subject and increasing research indicates that either fermented foods, or a probiotic like kefir that you can make in your own kitchen are equally important. In fact the fibre in Helen's 15 euro salad acts as a prebiotic; food for the teeming billions of friendly bacteria in the intestine.
This page was last updated by Bernard Preston on 28th April, 2021.
While I was attending college, Helen started taking an interest in nutrition. In particular, how to cure Bernie's constipation, a life-long problem. I still have haunting memories of embarrassing enemas as a child; and of being told I could not leave the WC until I had done my bit. Of bleeding fissures whenever I attended the john and, sorry to be so graphic, stools that were 18 inches long by 2 thick. Of stabbing pains in the lower abdomen that would make me double over.
Well, it wasn't long before the Boss came home triumphant; she had the formula to cure Bernard Preston. And, indeed, she did, but not with medicine or an appointment with the DC. Helen's 5 dollar salad, as it was known in those days, within a week fixed 28 years of gastronomic and anal suffering.
You see, it's not rocket science. Constipation, haemorrhoids, anal fissures, diverticulitis, and polyps in the colon all have at their foundation a lack of fibre from our meals. All I had to do was to stuff some rabbit food down my throat and all that suffering ceased. Believe you me, it is true; this recipe will work miracles for you too. I am the living proof; it is no exaggeration.
If it doesn't, then throw in a pickled beet.
The formula has changed somewhat over the years but, at the bottom of it all, is more fibre. It works.
It's also in part because we often delay having a bowel movement, putting it off to a more convenient time; unable to initiate a BM, but only stop it, we may have to wait for 24 hours for nature to again attempt to void the colon. By then we are really gummed up.
For more of the theoretical background behind constipation, you may want to read this newsletter; adult potty training from my other site.
Searching for something specific? Say, "BEETROOT CONSTIPATION". Just type it in here...
Best of all is that you can make Helen's 15 euro salad in no more than ten minutes. No pots to scour, dinner is prepared, eaten with relish, and the scant dishes all washed up in 30 - 45 minutes.
Minute 1: Assemble and wash your salads
Plan on having at least 5 and preferably 10+ different salads. Here you can find 9 that we often use. Include as many colours as you can. Suggested possible ingredients:
Minute 2: Start with lettuce
You'll notice the plates are not the same. Helen enjoys her salad in large slices whereas I prefer mine more finely chopped. It makes little difference; follow your own tastes.
Not shown in the photo above is another recent trend in our family. We absolutely love peppadews and they are so easy to grow. They are piquant and sweet, and sometimes hot but you can then remove the seeds when having them in a salad.
So abundant and heavy is the fruit that you will need to stake them. If the fruit is not kept off the ground they will not ripen properly and turn bright red.
Having been greatly influenced by the Blue Zone people, where ten times as many live to a strong and zestful old age, we now try to grow as many of these salads ourselves. The combination of working outside, sunshine for vitamin means that we now have foods organically grown with no artificial fertiliser and certainly no toxic poisons.
They also grow and eat many different kinds of green beans so a lightly-blanced lima or fava salad with olive oil and lemon juice is often a side dish.
Avoid those bought salad dressings. One look at the ingredients and you will no why. Extra virgin olive oil and a squeeze of lemon or lime juice is much nicer in any case; we don't need all those chemicals and sugar.
Minute 3: Slice and add the peppers
If possible add several different coloured paprikas. Each have their own specific anti-oxidants, the more the better. Orange peppers are particularly rich in lutein, the phytochemical that protects your macula and the lens in your eye from cataracts.
Minute 4: Add the rest of your salads.
Thinly sliced carrots and celery and spring onions are lovely. I forgot the parsley today, prolific in our garden, an all-time favourite of ours, rich in vitamin K (an amazing 1640 mcg /100g, cf broccoli 102 mcg), that which stops easy-bruising. Definitely not just a garnish, but if you're having guests, chop it finely. Otherwise they probably won't eat it!
Of course, the tomato; every male SHALL eat a tomato-a-day.
TOMATO PROSTATE ...
A salad needs something fatty; you could dribble your salad with olive oil and lemon juice, but a sliced avocado really makes any green salad.
My optician tells me that your organic food greens are what prevent cataracts and macular degeneration.
Initially, it took some grim determination to tuck into Helen's 15 euro salad, but once I started to feel the benefits it was plain sailing. Interestingly, research shows that it takes about three weeks to retrain the tastebuds; to lessen salt, cut out sugar, add greens, and so on.
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Don't forget the herbs. That could be just some finely chopped parsley but my favourite is sweet basil; it's also one of the easiest weeds to grow in the summer garden.
Sweet basil is the main ingredient of pesto; it really finishes off your greens. I pick half a dozen young leaves and chop them finely into Helen's 15 euro salad. Learning about the best medicinal herbs is important. If you have the time and energy for this, by all means get some pine nuts and mozzarella cheese; then you have the whole enchilada.
Cilantro is great though not to everyone's liking; rocket, too, and a lightly blanched jalapeno will add to any salad. Some like it hot; I do. Interestingly the heat from the chili family is actually a powerful anti inflammatory.
Minute 5: Add the Feta, nuts and seeds
Obviously, let your imagine run riot. This recipe is only the basis to start with. Don't let it cramp your style, but add your own favourites.
Have Olive Garden salad dressing oil and Balsamico vinegar, salt and pepper at hand. And a glass of red wine!
Minute 6: Pickling olives, hummus, dips
Obviously preparing your olives, humus and dips will have to be
done ahead of time. Mostly they can be in a jiffy too. Except the
hummus, you have to soak the Chickpeas Garbanzo bean dip ingredients
overnight. There are so many delicious dips you can use to go with
Helens 15 euro salad. We love Baba Ghannoush in particular. That, too,
you can make in less than ten minutes.
BABA GHANNOUSH ... a delish eggplant dip.
Minute 7: Add your protein
We like smoked salmon. It's not cheap, but because it needs no cooking, and you only need a small portion and it's full of Omega-3 essential fatty acids, smoked salmon makes the perfect protein to go with Helen's 15 euro salad.
Sliced cold beef, chicken pieces, smoked
ham or mackerel, cold leg of mutton would do just as nicely. Or just the hummus if you're a vegan.
Eet smakelijk, as we say in Holland. Enjoy!
Mopping up HELEN'S 15 EURO SALAD
Perhaps you noticed that this is an almost zero carbohydrate supper. That makes it perfect for our Free Weight loss programs. The easiest, safest way to lose the unwanted and unsightly pounds is to cut back hard on the carbs, and particularly any refined starches.
But assuming you're not trying to lose weight then half a slice of whole-wheat bread, with a little olive oil or butter, and smothered with Tahini makes a wonderful end to your meal. Mop up the juices!
Does bread give you a bellyache, or worse cramps and diarrhoea? There is a solution, two actually. Learn about the meaning of gluten, and how to deal with it using sourdough, and then a probiotic like kefir benefits. We enjoy both every single day.
If your blood cholesterol is "dangerously low" like mine is! then you can lash out with a bit of extra butter. Absolutely do not use margarine. Why? Hydrogenated foods are 50% trans fatty acids, a completely foreign substance to your body.
Honestly, very few folk who eat these organic food greens will have a cholesterol problem. Eat plenty of fruit and salad and you can have your butter and eat it.
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