JUST FOR LAUGHS

An innovative way to stop thieves

Enjoying a SWEET PEE can be problematic in the bushveld.

ZAPIRO, SOUTH AFRICAN genius supreme!

TAKE THE ALZHEIMERS TEST

During a visit to the Town Hill mental asylum in Pietermaritzburg, I asked the director how they determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window or one facing the wall?"

SOUTH AFRICAN ROAD SIGNS

If you've been to South Africa before I'm sure you've seen a baboon before. Usually, in the game parks, you find them first in pictures where he's in the sights of a rifle, aimed at persuading visitors not to feed them.

This is a different view of our favourite ape, the Springbok rugby team coach. Anyone familiar with the South African bushveldt scene would recognise him. Or is he a clown? Defending Schalk Burger after an eight week suspension for foul play on a British Lions player, this ape said: "If we want to eye-gouge a lion, we normally go down to the bushveld."

The only problem is that they often don't have brakes and managing the steeper gradients can be tricky ...

This croc however found something rather more challenging the a wheelchair maniac racing towards him. After the mosquito (and man!) these are the probably the two most dangerous animals in Africa. This time the croc came off second best ...

A familiar scene at the bottom of many a South African hill ...

It's only a short distance to the Casualty at the nearest hospital ...

And a South African street ...